November 2010
1 post
Turns out I was always the one he never deserved.
Cheating bastard.
June 2010
2 posts
I wish I could be the person he deserves.
You're not good enough.
You’re not eating enough, but you’re fat.
Why don’t you ever stand up for yourself? Stop being such a bitch.
Why can’t you find a job? Really, that’s what you do for a living?
You’re just not good enough for us.
It’s good to know my family loves me just the way I am and that they make me feel like I belong.
May 2010
40 posts
I get to keep him!!!
I'm quickly running out of reasons to keep going.
I’m losing friends.
I’m losing family.
I’m losing a place to live.
I’m losing my health.
I’m even losing the love of my life in a matter of weeks.
It’s a bit too much for me to take. I’m running out of reasons to get out of bed in the morning or even open my eyes for that matter.
Back to square one.
I thought that moving to my gran’s would be a step int he right direction. I’d be able to work and save money.
Now, I can’t move there. Where am I going you ask? I have no fucking clue. At this point, a local homeless shelter seems to be my only option.
Fuck.
“The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the...”
– Thomas Merton (via julie911) (via quote-book)
I believe this because I live it every day.
!!
It’s not me trying to cushion the blow like I originally thought. It’s me being too selfish to let him go despite my mess of a life starting to drag him down, so I’m subconsiously trying to give him a reason to be okay with leaving.
Fuck, I’m messed up.
Sometimes I forget to love you like I should.
Most everything is okay now. I’m still a little anxiety ridden, but spending time with good people last night helped me bring my mood back up and now I’m in a place to be able to tell myself to shut the fuck up.
My new best friend. →
Whether he knows it or not.
This guy is awesome.
“You’re only as tall as your heart will let you be and you’re only as small as...”
– Christopher Drew | Submitted by: bornonthe17th (via quote-book)
“All of the questions
that are spinning in my head
have one answer: You.”
– Daily Haiku on Love by Tyler Knott Gregson (via tylerknott) (via quote-book)
“Once you find a way to face this bravely, you’ll see these things have a way of...”
– A Place In The Sun (via julie911) (via quote-book)
Take your own advice, Amanda.
On a much lighter note;
In my state of clarity last night, I figured it out.
Urca = Maggie Gyllenhaal
One day, I'll be able to let someone love me for...
My New Mantra: You're An Idiot.
I’m on the verge of an anxiety attack. This is all so stupid. The worst part is, I know how ridiculous I’m being, but I still can’t stop myself.
So, I’m sitting in my room, trying to breathe (failing hard) and repeating “You’re an idiot. He loves you.” over and over. I think my problem is I thrive on reassurance, but without being able to talk to him, I...
I realized something last night.
I’m terrified. Not of New Zealand and moving to the other side of the planet. Not of dropping everything and leaving the people I care about. I’m terrified of him.
He’s amazing in everyway and I love him more than anything. I would be with him forever if I could. It’s not commitment by any stretch of the imagination that I’m afraid of. What scares me is the power...
Never, under any circumstances am I to do that...
It brough way too many thoughts to the surface that I just can’t get out of my head.
I may have gone too far today. This may be...
Oh goodie, I'm going to be homeless!
“Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth...”
– Bob Marley (via biancauseyourtelescope, emahgee)
Way to make me feel like shit about myself...
“ ‘Oh, you want too much!’ she cried to Gatsby. ‘I love you now––isn’t that...”
– The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald (via quote-book)
I didn't realize until today I was in the middle...
And it broke my heart.
I want to spend forever with you.
“When a deep injury is done us, we never recover until we forgive”
– Alan Paton (via quote-book)
Today, I shall forgive.
I just spent the entire day in bed. That was a little ridiculous. And I’m not talking, sat in bed reading, or was online. I mean, I was in and out of sleep because I couldn’t find the motivation to bother getting up. Also, it wasn’t a bad thing, just extremely lazy (and probably lack of anything better to do).
I need a job.
“I like DEAD END signs. I think they’re kind. They at least have the decency to...”
– Bugs Bunny (via thoughtsdetained)
You know what's awesome?
When someone’s angry with you, but won’t tell you why. And they insist on giving you the silent treatment. And just being a bitch in general.
It’s even more awesome when you didn’t do anything in the first place. When they’re angry with you for just being you in general.
Gosh, I love that.
Grow the fuck up.
Another step closer!
Passport photos: Aquired.
April 2010
17 posts
Shiny Toy Guns knew we would be together before we...
I know this could easily fit for any relationship, but it works so well for me and Batman. (Yes, that is grammatically correct. :))
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/shinytoyguns/rainymonday.html
I don’t mind You’re someone that ain’t mine But someone that I’ll get And you don’t know how Hard I’ve tried To convince myself that I Can easily forget
...
